The Morning Call from Allentown, Pennsylvania • 119

THE MORNING CALL SUNDAY, DECEMBER 21. 1986 ACCENT ON PEOPLE E11 Kids feel there's nothing easy about simply 'going out' brought liberation from restrictive roles and sex-based stereotypes, today's suburban teen-agers apparently are the last to know. Teachers and parents of Harrison High students say that, while teen-age girls made tenta- For girls, going out is still a matter of being asked, rather than asking. "I could never, ever ask a guy out," said Jennifer Gaudet It is also a matter of letting the right people know your answer in advance. "You flirt," no' and you just don't ask." An intelligent guy, he said, knows how to discern the negative even in what might sound like a positive response, such as "I have to ask my mom," or Td love to, "As soon as you hear that you know you're through." Love may be blind, but teenagers, it appears, are not An informal poll taken in the Harrison High lunchroom indicated that most affairs of the heart are governed by the retina.

"A lot of it has to do with looks," Tag said. But brains also play a part "I have to admit I would never want to go out with someone smarter than me," said Spencer Levy, 16, a junior. "I like looks," said Apfelbaum. "And that they don't ignore you when they're with their friends." To a teen-ager, who can fully assess a person's character on the basis of whether he wears a T-shirt or a turtleneck, a certain kind of subtlety is second nature. Thus, the simple phrase "going out" uttered with the same inflection in virtually the same sentence, (as in "We're going may mean two entirely different things.

Many parents find the distinction beyond their grasp. To an adolescent it is fairly obvious. On the one hand, going out may mean taking in a movie or getting a bite to eat but implies no long-term obligation. Going out on the other hand, implies a major commitment of a week or more. Sara Tortolani, a li-year-old sophomore, tried to clarify the distinction: "At first you're just together, then you end up going out" Some boys, apparently too shy to address the subject directly, may resort to circumlocution.

"They say, 1 hope Fm the only boy in your life, because you're the only girl in said Apfelbaum. They say queer things like that" Exchanging bits of personal property can also help solidify a relationship. These range from the traditional football letter jackets to the more functional identification cards to the avant-garde a boy with a pierced ear may give a girl one of his earrings. Just what a couple does once they are going out appears to be essentially irrelevant "Things that when you're with your friends are so boring, when you're with a guy are so much fun," said Tortolani. Politically correct or not boys at Harrison and other Westchester high schools are still expected to pick up the tab for a burger or a movie.

Girls help out though. "You get the cheapest thing on the menu," said Apfelbaum. "You eat before you go," said Sara. Often, breaking up is as important and may take almost as long as going out "You try to break up first," Levy said. "It looks better." He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because "she kept trying to have serious conversations." Recently, Liza Spedaliare's boyfriend ended their relationship, which lasted seven days.

"He didn't even tell me he broke up with me," she said. "He had bis little sister do it" Sometimes, the situation with a blank look spelling disaster and a friendly word, rapture is enough to drive a girl to renounce romance. "Guys are not ready for what we think we're ready for, so everything's really messed up," said Apfelbaum. "It can't be worth it" Then, reconsidering: "It's worth it" Dating, which every self-respecting adolescent knows to refer to as "going out, today remains the same exquisitely painful preoccupation that it was when Gidget was growing up and saddle shoes were the style. If the 1980s are supposed to have brought liberation from restrictive roles and sex-based stereotypes, today's suburban teen-agers apparently are the last to know.

By ELIZABETH KOLBERT Of The New York Times HARRISON, N.Y. From a distance, it looks as simple as boy-meets-girL But what is not so simple, according to the girls, is meeting a boy at least one who is handsome, funny, reliable, not a nerd or a wimp and free on Friday night "There's really no one in our school to go out with," said Jennifer Gaudet a 16-year-old sophomore at Harrison High School, expressing a view held widely among the school's 450 girls. "It's so depressing," said. Jennifer Apfelbaum, 15, also a sophomore at the school, in this wealthy Westchester County community. "I don't know why I get dressed in the morning." Dating, which every self-respecting adolescent knows to refer to as "going out," today remains the same exquisitely painful preoccupation that it was when Gidget was growing up and saddle shoes were the style.

If the 1980s are supposed to have ENGAGEMENTS Accounting Data Processing MarketingManagement Travel Fashion Merchandising LegalExecutive Secretarial Medical Office Secretarial Over 3,374,000 additional Professionals will be working in these Fields. 1 Lfefe1 Career Fields of the FUTURE! vmnwm Be a PART OF IT! Be in tive moves toward more asser-tiveness in the 1960s and 70s, today's students are more inclined to adopt traditional roles. "They're really not aware that women's liberation has happened," said Carol Spedeliare, whose daughter Liza is a sophomore. Brady-Sterner Announcement has been made of the engagement of Elizabeth Brady, daughter of Mr. and Mrs.

George Laudeman of New Ringgold to Stephen Lee Sterner, son of Mr. and Mrs. Ralph Sterner of Emmaus. Miss Brady and her fiance are students at Pennsylvania State University. Hall-Moxey Mr.

and Mrs. George E. Hall of Coplay have announced the engagement of their daughter Ann V. to David J. Moxey son of Carol Tannenbaum of Bel Air, and David J.

Moxey of Elkton, Md. Moxey is a graduate of Automotive Training Center, Exton. McGinley-Hence Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Charles McGinley of Allentown have announced the engagement of their daughter Vicki Ann to James Charles Hence, son of Mr.

and Mrs. Clifford W. Hence Jr. of Philadelphia. Miss McGinley is a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh and holds a master's degree from Temple University, where her fiance graduated and also holds a master's degree.

Ritter-Schenk Announcement has been made of the engagement of Judith Eva Rit-ter, daughter of Ruth Ihle of Allentown and the late Stanley Ritter, to Charles Schenk, son of Evelyn Snyder of Bethlehem and Charles Schenk of Stroudsburg. Miss Ritter is a graduate of Northampton County Area Community College. Her fiance is a graduate of New York University. 'Due to the increase in population and income the demand for more physicians, computers, communications equipment and consumer goods, employment associated to these fields will grow faster than the average through 1995. In as little as 9 to 18 Months, we can give YOU Practical, "Hands-On" TRAINING, by experienced Instructors, on state-of-the-art equipment New Day Evening Classes Start SOON! Act NOW! Call TODAr" 215791-5100 11 1' 1 LilL 1 i.i rfeibert-Hubach The engagement of Michele D.

Deibert to Richard E. Hubach of Riverside, son of Mr. and Mrs. Eric Hubach of Norco, has been announced by her parents, Mr. and Mrs.

Michael E. Deibert Jr. of Winter Haven, formerly of AI-lentown. Miss Deibert is a graduate of Mansfield University and her fiance is a graduate of San Diego State University. Stott-Plessor Announcement has been made of the engagement of Sharon Patricia Stott, daughter of Mr.

and Mrs. Clifton Stott of Asbury, N.J., to Randy Plessor, son of Mr. and Mrs. Rudy Plessor of Allentown. Miss Stott is a student at Messiah College and her fiance is a student at Mansfield University.

Gallagher-Bortz Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Gallagher of Allentown have announced the engagement of their daughter Denise Marie to George Brian Bortz, son of Joan Bortz, also of Allentown. Dilts-Rutt Mr. and Mrs.

Preston C. Dilts of Bethlehem have announced the engagement of their daughter Wendy to Kevin J. Rutt, son of Mr. and Mrs. Philip Rutt of Bethlehem.

Miss Dilts is a student at Northampton County Area Community College. Her fiance is serving with the Army at Fort Stewart, Ga. Haldeman-Landis Mr. and Mrs. Glen Haldeman of East Greenville have announced the engagement of their daughter Judith to Douglas D.

Landis, son of Mr. and Mrs. Paul Landis, also of East Greenville. National Education Center ALLENTOWN BUSINESS SCHOOL CAMPUS 1501 Lehigh Street, Allentown, PA18103 "Inside Parkway Shopping Center" Ask About Our Benefits: -Associate in Specialized Business Job Placement Assistance -FINANCIAL AID Available, ifyouqualify Evening Classes Training DEMAND of Labor store prices) said Gina Ferraro, 16, a junior. "You drop major hints." For boys, it is still a matter of standing firm in the face of possible rejection and utter humiliation.

"It's tough," said Tag Garson, 16, a junior. "A lot of time, you know the answer is going to be Konopke-Peters Announcement has been made of the engagement of Lori Ann Konopke, daughter of Marjorie J. Konopke and Robert E. Konopke, both of Saylorsburg, to Scott Peters, son of Mr. and Mrs.

Carl Peters of Slating-ton. Miss Konopke is a student at Pennsylvania State University, where her fiance graduated. Phelps-Robertson Announcement has been made of the engagement of Jessica E. Phelps, daughter of Bette E. Phelps and John D.

Phelps, both of Bethlehem, to G. Andrew Robertson, son of Mr. and Mrs. Wayne Frenzel of Had-don Heights, N.J. Miss Phelps and her fiance are students of York College of Pennsylvania.

Shaffer-Barndt Announcement of the engagement of Monica Ruth Shaffer to Thomas Raymond Barndt, son of Joyce Nace and Robert Barndt both of Quakertown, has been made by her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Douglas Shaffer, also of Quakertown. Almgren-Schlener Mr. and Mrs.

William Almgren of Allentown have announced the engagement of their daughter Valerie to Rudolf Schlener III, son of Joan OpUnger of Allentown and Rudolf Schlener of Whitehall. Falotico-Maher Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Falotico of Allentown have announced the engagement of their daughter Alisa Marie to Michael Sean Maher, son of Mrs. Elissa Maher of Allentown.

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